A new lesson from the birds and the bees

Let me tell you ’bout the birds…

The other day, I was sitting in the dining room, eating breakfast, and watching the birds at the feeder because you know how I love to watch the birds. There were three – three! – nuthatches at the feeder! At the same time! That’s never happened before!

Sorry, I know I’m bird-nerding here, but they are one of my absolute favourite birds to watch. Those tiny darlings are flittery (not a real word, I know, but it fits) and just plain fun to watch. Why? I’ll tell you.

They do almost everything, except fly, upside down!

My nuthatches (yes they’re mine) swoop in and land clinging upside down to the side of my wooden feeder. They walk headfirst down to the seed tray, sit, pick up a seed, and fly away with it. If they’re feeding from the mesh tube filled with nuts, they hang upside working away with their stubby beaks until they’ve had their fill.

The other day while we were working outside, we watched a red-breasted nuthatch land – upside down – on the wooden support beams for our back deck. She proceeded to stuff a sunflower seed into one of the holes in the end of a decking screw. Flying back to the feeder, she grabbed another seed, came back and stuffed it into another screw hole. Stocking up for the winter I suppose.

I’m always amazed by these little birds. They aren’t a woodpecker, but they nest in cavities in trees that they excavate themselves with their stubby little beaks; beaks that seemingly aren’t designed for excavating holes and yet that’s just what they do.

They seem determined to fly in the face of conventional wisdom – haha ‘fly in the face’ – and do the unexpected. They are remarkably versatile and determined little birds who accomplish things in ways that defy logic.

It’s not just nuthatches that set that a wild example for us.

and the bees…

How many times have you heard that it defies the laws of physics for a bumblebee to fly? If you’re like me, probably a lot. It’s actually a myth, but there is something unusual about the way bumblebees fly. Almost without exception, bumblebees flap their wings back and forth not up and down like a bird. The scientific explanation is more than my dominant right-brain can stand, but you can read more here if you like. My point is that bumblebees fly in a way that clearly works well for them, but is unorthodox.

Why don’t nuthatches go head up like woodpeckers or any other bird for that matter? Why don’t bumblebees flap their wings up and down like everything else that has wings? I have no answer to either of those questions. I suppose the better question is why do I think that they should?

Why should those birds and those bees do things exactly like all the other birds and bees? Why shouldn’t they have their own way of doing things?

Particularly particular…

Why do people tend to approach life, and other people, that way? Like their way is the best way? Maybe not even the best way, but the right way.

I can be pretty particular about things, lots of things I suppose. For example, I like it when the hole in my to-go cup lid lines up with the logo on the cup and if I’ve got a sleeve on the cup, it’s nice if the seam lines up opposite the drink opening because that lines comfortably up with the first joint of my fingers as they curl around to hold the cup. Like I said, I can be particular.

But I hope I have learned to be flexible too, to allow for other ways of doing things. That flexibility has been a hard-learned lesson from my relationships and I imagine aging and maturing have played a significant role.

More times than I care to count, I have found myself asking the question, “Does it matter how it gets done, as long as it gets done?”

That thought, that question, applies to more than just kids chores or the ‘honey-do’ list or how my to-go cup is assembled. What about faith or marriage or parenting or any one of hundreds of issues we stand in judgment of each other for?

If you’ve got a way that works for you, who am I to judge you for it? Who am I to say which way is best?

So go ahead and try a different way. Be the one who is brave enough to say, “I know that works for you, but this way works for me.”

Go headfirst, flap sideways. Follow your heart and be yourself. That will always be good enough for me.