Proust #20 If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
I cannot for the life of me think why I would want to come back as a thing. And as far as coming back as another person, who’s life would I want?
But…a few years ago, well maybe more than a few, a movie with Bill Murray called Groundhog Day came out. He was kind of a jerk and the occasion of Groundhog Day forced him to relive the same day over and over, making different choices until he got it right. Now that’s kind of an interesting thought, getting a do-over.
Do you remember those ‘choose your own adventure’ books? At the end of each section you had a choice to make on behalf of the protagonist, you’d flip to that page and see what would happen as a result. If your character died as a result of your choice, well, you just flipped back to the list of choices and tried again.
I often wonder, and I think everyone does, what life would have been like if I had made one choice over another. We all make choices, sometimes they’re life changing choices and others maybe aren’t quite so critical, but we don’t really know that either do we?
So let’s play the ‘what if…’ game.
What if I had stayed for my friend’s graduation party instead of going off with the boy I had a crush on? (That boy and I were in a car accident later that night.)
What if I had gone to university right after high school instead of moving with my family to Dawson Creek? (Would I have met Phil and had any of this life?)
What if we had decided that Phil should take the job offer in Terrace instead of Ft. St. John? (I wouldn’t have had my job with the school district.)
What if…what if…what if…
Life is full of choices, crossroads where we decide to go one direction or another. Some of those choices seem simple and others are far more complicated. And because we don’t live in isolation, the choices of others affect us too.
It wouldn’t matter what life we lived, there would be choices and consequences. We won’t always make the best choices, I know I certainly haven’t, but would life be better or worse because of it? Would I have learned the same things? Would I be the same person?
I think I’ll just stick with the life I’ve been given because despite some of the bad choices I’ve made, I’ve made some really stellar ones too. I love my life, I love the people in it, and I love the direction I’m headed in.
If you’re at a crossroads, get some advice from someone you really trust. Don’t ask everyone, that won’t help you narrow things down. Make your choice and trust yourself. If you don’t like where it takes you, just wait a minute or two, because just like buses and trains, another one will be there shortly.
