“Is it my imagination or are people friendlier this year?” I asked My Sweet as we walked from the marina up to our campsite.
We had been in camp a few days and were noticing a difference. We were used to the politely mumbled morning greetings as we passed people in the dark on our way to the washrooms and then in the semi-dark as we walked down to the marina, but this, this was different. People were engaging in full conversation. It had moved beyond the usual snippets in passing about what size of bait the fish were biting on and which colour of hoochie was working best.
*Note: A hoochie is a lure which resembles a squid and comes in various sizes and colours. They can glow in the dark or have eyes that glow. Some have mylar strands added to the tentacles for added appeal. Look at that! You just learned something about fishing for salmon.
We talked about our jobs, our children and grandchildren, and our homes. We talked about family and travel and life in general. We actually sat and shared a drink with several people. With Tor and Randy, two guys from Kamloops, we talked about car racing, how to get warranty work done by a reluctant company, and home renovations. With Chris, Laurie, and Ken, we talked about work and retirement, travel, and cooking. With Mike and Nancy, we talked about our kids, the coyote population in Abbotsford, and our mutual love for Labrador Retrievers (they had their Chocolate Lab, Wyatt, with them).
What was different this year? Why did people seem so much friendlier?
They weren’t.
We were.
In past years, we would be up before dawn, breakfasted, lunch packed and would watch the sunrise from the boat on the water. We would fish all day. Seriously. All day. We came in at the end of the day to clean and process our fish, falling into bed exhausted, only to repeat the process the next day and the day after that and the day after that until it was time to break camp and head home.
This year was different and neither My Sweet nor I can tell you exactly why we did things differently this year but we did.
We would get up, still in the dark, eat and go out in the early morning light to fish until just before lunch. Then go back to camp, clean and process the morning catch, make lunch and relax until afternoon tide change. We would go back out, fish a few more hours and go in for supper. We might decide to go out for an evening fish or we might not.
We were a lot more laid back this trip. Maybe it was because we caught a lot of fish early on and didn’t have to worry about getting our limit before going home. Whatever the reason, we were enjoying our time in camp almost as much as our time on the water. Both My Sweet and I will tell you this was probably our best trip to the coast yet. Sure, the fishing was good, there were several pods of humpback whales showing off every day, and the weather was amazing, but it was the people that really made this trip special.
Neither of us are what you would call extroverts. It isn’t easy for us to put ourselves out there and meet new people. It helped, I suppose, that nearly every person in camp had a shared interest in fishing. Conversations would start there and either die out or move on to other topics with those we felt more comfortable with.
When we left to come home, My Sweet commented, “I don’t think we’ve ever had so many offers to go stay and visit with people (in their homes).” One older gentleman said, “Come park in my lane. There’s lots of room for you!” He lives in Victoria and it was a tempting offer except for the fact that we don’t actually know his name. We just call him “Sarita” which is the name of his boat. I doubt he’s in the phone book under that name!
We came home a couple of days earlier than we had planned. We limited out early and dragging it out any longer when we had a freezer full of fish to get home seemed silly. The only reason to stay would have been to visit more with the people we had gotten to know and for the first time I was disappointed to be leaving people.
We had not even left and we were already planning next year’s trip. That in itself isn’t strange but that we were taking into account when the people we met were planning to go back, well, that was strange.
It seems that the older I get, the more value I place on my relationships with people. Maybe it’s the writer in me but I love to hear people’s stories. More and more I enjoy getting to know people, trying to find something we can connect over and then exploring that connection. Sometimes there isn’t really anything in common and I can move on appreciating only a brief encounter. But other times, well we meet someone who is almost effortless to be around, to talk with, and to enjoy. Those kinds of people are precious, the kind of people with whom you can be yourself.But you don’t meet them if you only keep your head down in the dark on the way to the washroom. You don’t meet them if you are only in camp long enough to eat and sleep before going out on the water again.
I think it’s easier making friends now than it was in my 20’s and 30’s. I am at a point in my life where I care less if people don’t like me and I tend to be more authentic when I meet new people. I don’t feel so much of that self-consciousness, the feeling that everyone is judging me (in a negative way). I feel free to be myself and mostly, I think I’m pretty likeable. If you like me, yay! If you don’t, well that’s okay too. I don’t need to be everyone’s friend, which would be exhausting anyway.
There is wonderful freedom in letting go of caring about what I think others think about me and there is tremendous reward but it is another one of those areas where I have to put aside residual fear and just try.
It is true that people can and will disappoint but I am finding more often than not, people are actually pretty great to have around. They enrich our lives in ways that sometimes surprise. The best part is that we get to choose, we get to decide who we allow into our lives. We are responsible for the people we allow into our sphere of influence and how much influence they are allowed to have. Put yourself out there a little bit, get to know the people around you and then choose wisely who you continue to spend time with. You may just find it’s worth the effort.
