At the end of December I started thinking about the New Year and what I wanted to accomplish and if I should try to set a resolution for myself. I tossed it around for a while because I don’t really like New Year’s resolutions. I have never been truly successful with them and I don’t think I’m alone in that.
About that same time, likely millions of other people on the planet were considering New Year’s resolutions. The cynicism on Facebook was evidence of this. The mocking memes of ‘New Year New Me” were everywhere. It wasn’t exactly encouraging and the inner cynic in me wasn’t disagreeing with the uselessness of resolutions. Useless for me – lots of people love resolutions and I’m fine with that, truly, they just aren’t for me.
What I have been successful with in the past though, are short term commitments. If you’ve been with me for a while, you may remember my Proust Questionnaire series that led me to write this blog. I began to consider a series of short term resolutions instead of one big resolution for the entire year.
I have been going through a bit (that’s an understatement) of a soul awakening over the past few months. I decided I needed to work on the inner me more intentionally. And while I don’t really like resolutions, I couldn’t get past the push in my mind that I needed to commit to something on January first, but what?
What happened was a lightbulb moment while I was scrolling through Pinterest. See – social media is good for something! I came upon a series of journal prompts for 30 Days of Gratitude. There is no shortage of articles or books about the importance of practicing gratitude and the positive effects it can have.
So I thought, “Why not?” 30 Days of Gratitude it is and because I need to be accountable to someone other than myself, I committed to posting every day on my blog’s Facebook page.
Today is Day 22.
I have done my best to dig deep and come up with thoughtful answers for the daily prompts. It isn’t always easy. I mean, have you ever considered what texture you’re grateful for? That was Day 12. Or what song you’re grateful for? That was Day 21.
I have noticed a difference in myself because of this exercise in intentional gratitude. When faced with something challenging, I find myself looking for something in the situation to be grateful for. I especially notice myself doing it at work when I am dealing with something difficult or challenging.
I don’t know if it has been helping any of the people who see the posts on Facebook, except for one person…my Mom. Until her internet went wonky, she was trying to follow each one and come up with her own responses. Finding things to be grateful for is a bit of a theme in our lives and our family right now.
My Dad is very near to the end of his life. Very near. That became painfully clear to me yesterday while I was with him. It was shocking because I thought my Dad would just live forever. Sometimes, forever is not as long as we thought.
21 days to build a habit, that’s what we are told. Yesterday was Day 21 of my gratitude project. It has maybe been one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Here’s why.
Yesterday, when I sat on the bed beside my Dad and he held my hand, we talked. We talked and we cried and we laughed and then we did all those things again. And in every moment, every heartbreaking moment, I found I could be grateful.
Grateful for our time together. Grateful for the life he and my Mom gave us. Grateful for his presence. Grateful for his love. Just grateful.
While Dad rested, Mom and I sat on the couch and we did the same thing. We held hands and we talked and we cried and we laughed. And I was still grateful. Grateful for her love. Grateful for her dedication. Grateful for her strength . Grateful for her unwavering faith. So grateful.
If I hadn’t been practicing an attitude of gratitude for the past few weeks, I’m not sure how I would have handled yesterday, but I think it would have been different. As hard as it was, I will be forever grateful, too, for that time yesterday.
There have been times when I looked at the prompt for the day and thought to myself, “Well that’s kind of silly.” And maybe some of them have been silly, but there has been something profoundly transformative in searching for gratitude in ordinary things, the things we are surrounded by every day and sometimes barely notice. There are wonderful blessings to be found in the things of daily life, the little things we take for granted.
If you’re looking for something that will make a difference in your life, in your attitude, in your approach to daily living, I would encourage you to try practicing intentional gratitude for 30 days. Put a pad of paper by your bed and before you go to sleep write down just one thing you were truly grateful for that day. Do it for 30 days. I can almost guarantee it will change you. I know it changed me.
Love and light to you all my friends…with gratitude…
I started by joining you on your FB page just wanting to be supportive of your challenge. Then it became more personal and I choose to do my own on a google doc. I’ll admit that I lost a few days in the past week. It’s kind of funny that when I needed to do it most, I didn’t. That’s kind of sad. Anyways- wanted to let you know that you have inspired me. I’m back at it and completely agree that it changes your outlook as well as how you handle situations. Thank you, Cathy! <3
Thank you Cathy for all your writings lately. Without them I know I would not be in the emotional state (grateful) that I’m in now. My whole life I have been made aware that ” the apple didn’t fall from the tree” or “good god you are just like dad” or maybe just called “little Otto”. Last night I sat and talked with Angela, not about what I am going to lose but about all the things I am grateful for in regards to my relationship with Dad. The list is very long.
I know this will help me get thru the difficult time in front of us all, and for this I thank “you” Cathy.