I went to visit my Aunt the other day. She’s living in an extended care facility. While her mind is sharp, her body has betrayed her with the tremors of Parkinson’s disease and brittle bones. Her life has been reduced to mostly the confines of her room, which is decorated with the beautiful and intricate needlepoint pictures she used to make back when her hands still cooperated.
As a child, I remember seeing those needlepoint projects always on on the go, works in progress and I marveled at the tiny stitches and her patience for the work. The house always smelled of fresh, homemade bread and baking. Auntie was a busy woman with a love for baking and crafting.
It saddens me to see her so…diminished. When it was time to go, I went to her bedside to say goodbye. She grasped my hands, holding them tightly, telling me how happy she was to see me and to make sure I knew I should come again.
My Auntie is not an old woman, she’s in her late 60’s but she’s been living in extended care for a few years now. I am ashamed to admit that while I think of her often, it was the first time I had been to visit her since she went into care.
Sadder though, were the sounds which came from the rooms of some of the other residents. One man who (according to my uncle) day in and day out, shouts for help. Cries and moans come from another room. People, who unlike my aunt, have had their minds and bodies abandon them in their Golden Years.
It’s that phrase ‘golden years’ that gives me pause. For far too many, there’s nothing golden about it. When you think about the end of your life, I’ll bet you don’t think about the realities of living your last days or years in a nursing home. I know I sure don’t.
It is a reminder of the importance of living life fully. Take every opportunity to explore the world, to enjoy your family and friends, travel if you like, make memories that will someday turn into great stories to share.
It’s also a reminder that I need to slow down a bit, take time for coffee with the neighbours, stop in to visit people like my Auntie, put a little more effort into maintaining those family bonds. It’s far too easy to get caught up in the busyness of life, but really it’s a poor excuse.
I need to stop saying “next time”, I’ll stop in next time, we can go next time…maybe there won’t be a next time.
A very special thank you to my Aunt and Uncle for their permission in sharing this story. Your trust and support mean the world!
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So true Cathy. I have taken an early retirement, and while I can’t help but worry if this is fiscally irresponsible and I may pay the price economically when I truly reach the golden years, I cherish my able mind and body which allows me to pursue the adventures and travel I enjoy now. Especially as I am now witness to how suddenly our health can betray us, without warning or time to prepare, as someone I love dearly is facing early onset Alzheimer’s and in just 6 short months has lost her “someday”.
I’m so sorry about your loved one Sheila. Alzheimer’s is a terrible disease. It does give a sense of urgency to live life as fully as we can and enjoy our health while we may have it.
You write so well— this one definitely hit the mark again. I have met your aunt and uncle several time and makes it all the more real. I have a problem reading as things get all to blurry at times. Just keep on writing i so enjoy it.
Thanks 🙂 I appreciate the encouragement!