Proust #25 What is your most marked characteristic?
I’ve got a reputation. I’m known for a few of my more *air quotes* prominent characteristics. Shocking, I know. I’ve been called opinionated more than once and it’s true. I am and it’s gotten me in hot water from time to time. Again, shocking I know.
Let’s be fair. I’ve got some good qualities too. Some of them are equally as well-known as my outspoken self. Life is all about balance.
I’m a good listener.
I used to joke that I sometimes felt a bit like Lucy from the Peanuts cartoons. I just needed my “The Doctor Is In” sign and my 5¢ can because I guess I just seem like one of those kind of people you can tell your troubles too. I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. It’s not. I’m flattered people feel comfortable enough with me to share their frustrations. It means they also tell me when something good happens which is nice!
Sometimes it’s a stranger who needs to vent, which I always find a bit strange, but as they say, any port in a storm.
Last weekend, my friend and I were sitting down in the hotel restaurant for a drink and an appie before dinner. The waitress approached, asked how we were. “Fine, we’re fine. How are you?” my friend asked. And the waitress proceeded to tell us.
She wasn’t looking for advice, just a sympathetic ear, which my friend generously offered. I was thinking more of the cheese plate I wanted to order. I know. I should have been nicer, but I was hungry.
I’m more of a solution person. Venting is fine, but you can’t keep coming back with the same problem. There’s got to be some effort to work through the problem. Maybe it’s because I’m not as patient as people give me credit for, or maybe it’s because I hate to see people stuck in their misery. You can tell me a sad story once and we’ll come up with a strategy to deal with things. If you come back with the same sad story, I’m going to ask if you’ve tried to fix things. If you say yes and it didn’t work, we’ll come up with another idea. If you say no, I’m going to tell you to go away and try first. Come back a third time, the story hasn’t changed and you’re still not trying, well, you don’t really want my help and I’ve got my own things to attend to.
Does that sound harsh? I don’t mean to, I just want people to be accountable for their own lives. I can’t fix your problems for you and you shouldn’t want me to.
By now you’re probably having a hard time deciding what my most marked characteristic is, being opinionated or being a good listener. I like to keep people guessing too.
